Talking to yourself: Good, Bad, or Both?


Dr. Adam Pearson

Approved ProvenTherapist

 

Self Talk - Good or Bad?

 
 
 
Every human speaks out loud at times but every human has "self-talk" in their mind.  We decide what we want to eat, what we want to wear, what we think of ourselves, others, and what others think of us.  Self-talk creates emotions which affect behavior.
 
In therapy, a major goal of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, is retraining the mind to think healthy and rational versus the lies we all believe. Imagine yourself as a dartboard and darts are thrown at us each day, sometimes by others and a majority of the time by our own thoughts and beliefs about us.
If a person thinks "I'm a horrible person, mother, and don't deserve love", they will feel emotions directly related to those beliefs such as self-hate, resentment, and even act differently to reinforce these lies which might give them an ounce of truth.  

If you like most people worry about what others think, then your peace of mind about yourself will waiver like the waves of the ocean.  

Truth truly sets a person free.  The truth about who you are and knowing yourself, your strengths and weaknesses, your likes and dislikes, your wants and needs are some of the keys to help decipher what is true what you hear or think.  

We lived in a performance based world, we perform in school, work, the home, sports, church, and for ourselves.  

Unconditional love and acceptance is when a person accepts someone not based on what they have done, are doing, can do, or will do, but simply for who they are.  We are all on the same road we live and we die. When you decide to accept yourself the good and the bad right now you have won the war.  

Every person is worth more than material object or dollar amount.  When you do not FEAR what others think and know who you are the darts won't stick to the board, but when they do stick they become infected and produce irrational beliefs which create false emotions and changed behavior.  

When you have a therapist, you should feel completely accepted by them, however, a therapist's job is not to tell you what you want to hear but what you NEED to hear.  Your health, your judgment, your decisions are judged but you as a person are not.  The goal of therapy is for you to be your own  therapist, advocate, and friend.  

Most clients I have seen are their judge, jury, and executioner, they have been their worst critique their whole life and then freedom and hope comes rushing in when the truth breaks the darkness inside.  

The way we view ourselves and others is directly linked to how we feel and act.  Take notice also how you view others, do you judge them on what they can do which then equals how much you love them?  Do you view yourself and love or hate yourself based on what good and bad things you do daily?  If so realize this is not how we are created to think and freedom can happen and unconditional love exists which sets us free!

 

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