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parents needing help with 36 yr old daughter
I have a 36 year old stepdaughter with seious issues. She has been diagnosed with bipolar and borderline personality disorder. She is living with my mother in law and driving her crazy. She's extremely hostile . she's extremely paranoid and can't hold a job because she starts accusing people of talking behind her back and bugging her Phone. She lives like an animal sometimes eating without utensils or plate. She self diagnose herself using the internet for example she feels she suffers from ptsd due to the abuse she has taken on the jobs. She is very intelligent and manipulative even with doctors. I've never raised my hand or even used profanity towards her but she uses words like abusive when describing how we treat her. At age 18 she suffered with bulimia for years and still has food issues . the fact that she isn't a danger to herself or anyone else we can't have her committed. She has a degree in accounting and has landed some really great jobs but lost them a few months later . we feel horrible for my mother in law but don't know what to do .there are no shelters in ocean county nj that would take her in. We have a psychologist who has treated Jessica for many years. She is on medication but who knows if she's even taking it. Hopefully someone can point me in the right direction .we don't know what else to do. Thanks so much for your time.
Posted By : joseph Date: 7 FEB 2016

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Dear Joseph,
What you describe is certainly a very difficult situation and not easy to handle. You need to obtain professional help. You can use one of the methods to reach out to one of us in the team. With good wishes

Response By: Dr. Joseph George Date: 11 FEB 2016

Dear Joseph,

It can be real hell living with a borderline person, especially when the personality disorder is severe as it obviously is in Jessica. I have had clients with borderline disorder and they have been the most difficult clients I have ever worked with. Jessica cannot be treated online becaurge she doesn't seek treatment. Bipolar is often codiagnosed with borderline because of the erratic mood characteristic of borderline. However such codiagnosis is to be treated with caution. Bipolar patients are not manipulative and Jessica is. In addition, medication for bipolar is incredibly complex. It requires frequent checks on the dosage and blood tests. All of this makes Jessica's case extremely difficult to manage.

There is an online book as a self help manual for family members of borderline patients, it is entitled Walking on eggshels. Yov may need therapeutic support to coge. If I can help I am here for you.
Response By: Prof. Aleksandar Fatic Date: 8 FEB 2016

I can help via email
Response By: Jamie Sclafani Date: 7 FEB 2016

I am so sorry to hear that you're having such a rough time.  It sounds like she needs to be constantly supervised.  This sounds like it really isn't a plausible thing for you.  I'm sure your mother in law can't do it either.  Please look through our wonderful therapists to find one that is a good fit for you.  We are all here to stand behind you.  Take care. Stay positive.  Tracie
Response By: Tracie Timme Date: 7 FEB 2016

Hi Joseph,

Have you and/or your wife seen a professional to help you deal with this situation before? It certainly is a difficult one. There are no easy answers here, but I'd be happy to chat with you and discuss what the options are and help you get a little direction here.  Dealing with this kind of mental illness in the family is a major challenge any way you look at it.

Response By: Raffi Bilek Date: 7 FEB 2016