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relationship therapist
Hello,

Me and my friend are having terrible relationship issues. Sexual issues, big communicating issues, trust issues. We are aware of our problems but we are very different, don't view life in the same way which i think is a big obstacle towards working things out. I've lost hope than we can work make it better, seeking the help of a therapist is for me the last resort i could think of to really make a difference, i am drained and need to find motivation to keep on fighting this battle.

We've been together for years, I am very upset and hurt that he hasn't made a step towards us getting engaged and he feels like I am disloyal, unappreciative, ungrateful and not committed enough for him to make that step. That is hurtful to me when i think of all the sacrifices i have done over the years. We  really love each other and want the same things but are unable to work through our problems which are getting worse overtime. One of our biggest issue is our sex life,there is something that is blocking the flow of intimacy between us, we are in our 30's and have no children, and yet nothing happens which is extremely frustrating and i thinks it's because of a history of resentment over disappointments and unmet needs, so i think that's where most of the work needs to be done.

Would it be possible to maybe have individuals sessions with each of us (to hear both sides) as well as couple sessions ? Am not sure how therapists usually proceed...In my opinion, we need someone that can give us advice and effective tools to get back on track.

Anyone here feels like they can really make a difference and wants to take us on ?

Posted By : need help Date: 27 APR 2015

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Hello,  I would have to agree with my peers that communication is most often where relationships breakdown.  That communication may be verbal, nonverbal or both.  Intimacy is much more than sex and beginning with nonsexual intimacy often times can improve the quality of the sexual intimacy.  I would be very willing to work with you if you are open to working with me. 
Response By: Susan Eschrich Date: 3 MAY 2015

Hello
   The most common problem couples everywhere, is communication.We do not communicate because we do not know, because we have no time, because we get to argue.Even if sometimes it is difficult to recognize, sex is another matter.And, although we should be closer from one another, not only makes us distance.
   More help us to relax, both physically and mentally, by releasing hormones.
Therefore, only benefits. But if things go as they should, what?
How to rebuild lost trust in the couple?Confidence is so hard to build, yet so easy to lose.A lie, a broken promise or infidelity can weaken and rupture of trust between partners. Sometimes rebuilding confidence may seem impossible. The good news is that balance can be regained relationship!
Write me an email so I can advise and teach you what to do.You will have the answers that matter to you.Blessings,Mahi.
Response By: Mihaela Comanita Date: 2 MAY 2015

Good Evening,

It is great that you have taken the first step and asked for help. There is nothing wrong there. I do work well in individual therapy but unfortunately not in couples therapy. I am sure there are others on the site that have excellence experience in couples therapy. If you would like your own personal individual therapist to help with your individual issues, I would be more than glad and willing to help! Good luck on your search.

Tamara Taylor, LPC, NCC
Response By: Tamara Taylor, LPC, NCC, CHC Date: 27 APR 2015

Hi,

Sometimes when you have been together for a long time, it is really difficult to sort out issues without getting outside help. You recognized that and made the first step to healing your relationship.

Good fortune on your journey,

Linda
Response By: Linda Harris Date: 27 APR 2015

Hello,

I work with couples with similar issues all the time. There is no easy answer, but I can certainly help you both look at what needs to change and how to make it happen. Making a difference in your relationship will be a team effort between all of us.
Response By: Raffi Bilek Date: 27 APR 2015

Disappointments and unmet needs. Key point that you stress. This is where the counseling starts and develops into an examination of trust and loyalty issues which tend to bloom on the ruins of a couple's sex life. My own specialty is trust-based couple's counseling, so if you want to work with me give me a call for a session this evening European time (- 6 hours East Coast time). And yes, you are right, both of you would need to enter counseling with specific aims in mind, with a specific timeframe and a clear commitment to clarify any issues that push you further apart from each other each day.

Let me know if this evening suits you, I have two slots available, 10 and 11 pm. European time, which is 4 and 5 p.m. East Coast time. One of these slots may go this afternoon so let me know a.s.a.p.
Response By: Prof. Aleksandar Fatic Date: 27 APR 2015

Dear  Friend,

The general tone of the script by you evidences and reveals the fissures in the long standing live in arrangements.  Thank you for approaching  our  forum.  The cultural moorings  did not make you to walk on the aisles to work better with a marital contract and commitment. Now it has  taken a new twist with many other issues.  There is only one line appears about the love you hold  for  each other... That is the ray of  hope  if the same is  true and other  issues are  minor,  your relationship would  survive and and soon you will be the committed and married  couple. Good  luck.. before  that let us work it in single and joined sessions. For initial sessions email sessions are  good  I suggest. Once again  I thank you for  seeking professional help.. Wish to hear in my mail box  first.

Sincerely,

Jamal


Response By: Jamal Hassan Date: 27 APR 2015

Hello.  Thank you for choosing us to help you.  There are many wonderful therapists here that could be of service to you.  Please take a moment to look through to find a fit that's right for you.  I am on line now as well as most of the time.  Very good to hear you want to work through this with us.  Thank you  Tracie
Response By: Tracie Timme Date: 27 APR 2015