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Hello My wife and I love each other very much but there was some bad dictions and negativity and now she wants to separate and move out. I feel she is hurt, frustrated and in pain and hasnt forgiven me for what has happened. What can i do to no have her not move out and not separate and repair the marriage. thanks
Posted By : ddoubledwc Date: 23 MAY 2013

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Hi! firstly, the initial step as she is already frustrated and wants to move out, is for you to try your best in calming her down, may be having a talk with her or if not writing a note for her or email her or getting flowers for her as the matter of fact can be the first step to calm her nerves down. Second step will be for you to try and persuade her to take counseling for the relationship, this can happen with mutual understanding. When a person is angry it is hard to convince them to talk to first step is how much ever you know her try to win some of her back so she can be ready to take some counseling sessions. If your wife is willing and ready it will be perfect to take Cognitive Behavioral or Marriage Therapy sessions that can help your marriage. Thanks
Response By: Stuti Pardhe Date: 24 MAY 2013

The question is not about how to get her to not move out or any other 'managing' her life type solutions.
To move forward start by discerning your emotions and wants: are you genuinely remorseful rather than just frightened by her reaction?

Third party mediation, therapy and long term coaching will serve you individually or as a couple.

Your work may be together exploring what happened in the past, how you both feel about each other and where you both want to be in the future
Or your work may be individual: how to grow and interact with greater maturity or how to process separation, how to grieve and process moving apart with dignity, how to respect yourself and care for each other.

Breath, stay calm and act with dignity and respect for yourself and each other!

Good luck!

Response By: Eric Holmes Date: 23 MAY 2013