View User Request

My Account

My life
Hi, my name is Lorraine. I'm 19 years old and I'm currently a student in High School. I'm a senior and I'll be graduating. I live with my sister who's 23 and my mother. I reached the point where I can't deal anymore. What I'm going to tell you is very long, but I hope you read it. Please. When I was little about the age of 4 I lived in Rhode Island with my two sisters and mother. ( The other sister is 26 and lives with her boyfriend now. ) My father lived in an apartment because my parents were divorced and still are today. 

My sisters at the time were in High School, well the older one was in High School and the other one that is 23 was in Middle School and I was in Elementary. My parents were always strict and I think crazy? My sisters would want to hang out with friends or go to a party and they weren't aloud. My parents would tell them that they can't have friends and that they don't know anything. It was mainly my mom who would tell them that and my father would just follow her and do the same. They would call them stupid and beat them if they ever went out with a friend. I was little so I never understood. I do remember seeing my parents beat them for just wanting freedom and I remember being little seeing all of that and not understanding until I aged more and more to the point where I did understand. I would cry when I would see them get beaten and my father would just look at me and ask me what was wrong when he would best them. My father was the one to beat them because my mother would tell him and my mother would just watch. My other sister would cry also when she would see that happening. 

I then aged more and I had a friend who was my neighbor. I wasn't aloud to go over her house. The only way was if she was outside. That's the only way I could see her and talk to her. We didn't go to the same school. In school I was always quite and the teachers thought I had a problem because I would never talk. I think I was just dramatized by everything going on at a young age. I had no friends at all and I would get mad fun of. Everytime I wanted to hang out with my neighbor I would get told that I couldn't. That I couldent do anything and as I aged more hey would tell me I can't have friends and that I was just stupid. 

We all moved to Florida where I currently live today and at that time my father moved in with us. The same things would happen. He would beat my sisters everytime they went out with friends. He would be waiting for them sitting on the couch with a belt or he would just fist hit them. I never understood what was the problem. My father then moved out back to Rhode Island to do his own thing. My mother would beat my sisters when ever they would go out out with a friend. Still didn't understand why. I then made a friend in middle school and I brought her over my house once to just hang out and my mom would get a belt and beat me on my legs just because I brought a friend over. I remember crying myself to sleep and not understanding why. I don't get beatings anymore but my mom is just crazy. 

She picks arguments with me and my sister for no reason but then at the next minute she's all happy again like nothing happened. I'm still not aloud to have friends or even go out. I never been out of my house other than school and I'm depressed. I'm anti social and I have social anxiety due to my parents fault. I don't have any friends because for one I can't hang out with them and I just don't know how to be social or anything. I don't know anything. 

Nobody understands. Nobody can help me. Every time I try to talk to my sister about it she just tells me that I should make friends and be social and that I need to stop being that way and then she shuts me out. Nobody cares to listen to me. I suffer in silent. My mother treats me like ****. I'm a servant In the house. I have to make her food all the time and give her whatever she wants because she's lazy and in return I don't get anything. Its like I'm a slave. I have no freedom and I want freedom. I don't ever think about leaving because I'll just get a beating and everything from my childhood haunts me today, I hate it so much. I never had a relationship with my dad and I never want one with him, I'll never forgive him and I hate him so much. I don't know when I'll ever be free. I feel like I'll always be In this environment. Negativity and arguments around me, not being able to have freedom or anything. I'm sick of it. When I was little I was ever aloud to do anything. Now I'm 19 and it's the same crap. I don't know what to do. I have no way out. I want happiness. I'm so depressed and I can't take it anymore. I just want to die. Please please help me.

Posted By : Ldilone13354 Date: 20 OCT 2013

If you are a therapist , Please login here to respond.
Dear Lorraine,
I am so sorry to hear what you have endured throughout your life.  You must be a very strong person to have made it this far and be able to reach out for help!

The good news is, in Florida you are considered an Adult if you are 18 or older.  Therefore, at 19 you are technically FREE to seek therapy, to get a job, and to live wherever you choose!  But you would have to plan this carefully due to the violence in your home.

I would recommend that you go to this website and/or call the # to seek help on how to get out of your abusive situation:  http://www.fcadv.org/florida-domestic-violence-hotline-1-800-500-1119

If you would like to get counseling from me at ProvenTherapy.com, sign up for "Therapy Subscription Membership" and pick Jamie Brown as your therapist.  However, I am guessing that if you aren't even allowed to have friends, you probably aren't allowed to have a credit card, either.  Therefore, your best option might be to contact the Florida Domestic Violence hotline, above.

God bless you and keep you safe, my dear.  

- Sister Jamie

Response By: Sister Jamie Brown Date: 1 NOV 2013

Hello Lorriane,

You have been dealt and hand that is not any fault of your own. This is an healthy situation and you cannot beat yourself up over it or allow you to cheat yourself out of life. Thank for choosing proventherapy. I would love to discuss this issue with you. I can offer you interventions that would ease the pain and stabilize your well being alike. Email me or we can chat if you so desire. Looking forward to hearing from you. I'm available 24 hours on weekends.

Response By: Jeffrey Perkins Date: 26 OCT 2013

Lorraine, I understand your predicament. It is an extremely sad and difficult one. You need support to save yourself from the rather hellish life with parental violence. I have an affordable email counseling scheme that you may to take advantage of. Feel free to contact me by email directly.

Response By: Prof. Aleksandar Fatic Date: 20 OCT 2013

Hi Lorraine,

Must have been very difficult to have such an experience in childhood, and even now, and is good that you are talking about. You can find helpt by talking to the school counselor or a psychologist here. You need to find the strength to go on, continue your school, and find a solution for your future. You can not give right now when you can take your life into your own hands,  without your parents interfering in your life. Counselor will help you be at peace with the past, and to find the energy for your future adult life, where you make your own decisions.

Response By: Gena Lupescu Date: 20 OCT 2013

Dear Lorraine,

It does sound like you have had a very painful past, but it doesn't have to be the future. Your parent's problems, do not have to be yours. You can change your life, it may take some time and strength and courage, but because you are having the courage to write and ask for help, you do have what it takes. Start thinking about what you need to do to change your life. Make a plan and then take one step at a time. Nothing big, but little by little, it will happen.
Response By: Linda Harris Date: 20 OCT 2013

Hi Lorraine, 

Thanks for reaching out to the Proven Therapy team for help and guidance. I do understand you have gone through a lot of experiences that are disturbing. You need help and we are here to help you. Kindly select the type of service that you would like to use and follow the instructions for obtaining help from one of the counsellors. I am ready to help you. 

Response By: Dr. Joseph George Date: 20 OCT 2013