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hi my name is Eli I'm 32 and divorced 1.5 years ago, I have pregnancy problems so I don't have any kids... last year a man 4 years younger asked me for marriage. He knows all of my problems about divorcing without a kid and accepted them, but I don't know what should I do... Is it ok to marry a man 4 years younger? maybe in the future I will have more problems :-(
Posted By : Eli Date: 10 SEP 2013

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Dear Eli,

Greeting s for good health and cheer. Life goes on its own way with understanding  partners. Age size  shape race religion  and many other factors are not at all detrimental for harmony. It has its own tune and rhythm. Try  and understand  each other by a cordial courtship. Begin with an End in your mind positively. All the best,

Warm regards,

Jamal Hassan
Response By: Jamal Hassan Date: 12 OCT 2013

Hi Eli,

Thank you for contacting Proven Therapy. Eli, age does not matter when you love someone, especially if you are compatible, friends and mature. There may be some issues affecting you from your previous marriage that you may need to address before getting serious in a new relationship so that you don't bring the same issue(s) to the relationship. This is where I could be of assistance to you. If you would like to schedule an appointment with me please feel free to contact me at for live chat, voice chat or email therapy.  Therapy can help you make good decisions to live a happier life.
Response By: Dr. Diane Davis Date: 11 SEP 2013

Hi Eli, 
Thank you for contacting the proven therapy with your personal concerns, particularly regarding your current relationship. Your confidence level appears to be low at this time due to your first marriage and the issues that led to your divorce. Personally that might have been too tough on you and you are not sure how to proceed with the second marriage. This is an issue that you need to work through one of us getting the benefit of professional counseling. The other issue is his age. It appears that he likes you and tries to assure you that your past is not a problem for him. It also seems to me that you like him. Only in that context I see how you are looking at the age issue. There are couples around us with varying age differences but they do well with their marriage and family. I know in some cases the husband 14 years older than the wife. They do very well. It is not the age then what matters but your physical-emotional-social compatibility and commitment to make this relationship functional and fulfilling. If you like to continue to interact with me, kindly send me a detailed email and I will respond. I am also available for text chat. With good wishes, Eli. 
Response By: Dr. Joseph George Date: 11 SEP 2013

You are concerned about having more problems and his age?...
Have you considered the emotional component? 
How do you both feel about each other and spending the future together with your past and future problems and his...
Have you adequately grieved and moved on from your divorce etc

Response By: Eric Holmes Date: 10 SEP 2013

Eli, you were divorced when you were 30 then? And your current partner proposed you last year, which is, what, 6 months after your divorce? This all seems very intense and needs to be discussed in detail. I feel that you have some information and conclusions of your own that make you wander about the moral status of this relationship, and this may well have to do with your views of some of your own actions. Is that true? If you want to talk to me we need to be honest and straightforward. Let me know.
Response By: Prof. Aleksandar Fatic Date: 10 SEP 2013

Hi Eli,

Thank you for contacting Proven Therapy.

I understand your questionings,  but for now, I have one question: Is it okay for a MAN to marry a woman 4 years younger?:)

Please check out the Special Client offers on my Therapist profile if you'd like to chat. I will be online all evening today.

Best of luck,

Rodica Mihalis, M.S. Counseling and Clinical Psychology 

Response By: Rodica Mihalis Date: 10 SEP 2013

Hello Eli,

I think the age difference is a personal question that any individual would need to decide if it is something that would work for them or not. There is no right or wrong answer. I also believe it would be best to sit down, decide and identify your personal values, beliefs, concerns with the marriage and age difference and have a similar discussion with your partner. If you would like to talk through this with me I am available. 
Response By: Stephanie Exum, LMSW Date: 10 SEP 2013

Hi Eli,

There's nothing necessarily wrong with marrying a man four years younger than you. That in itself is not likely to cause problems. But whatever issues came up in your last marriage are likely to come up again unless you work on changing them. That's where a counselor can help.

Response By: Raffi Bilek Date: 10 SEP 2013

I think it is truly important for you to sit down and have those conversations with him.  View the what ifs and really understand what he wants and is looking for.  Do you trust him wholeheartedly? 
I would be happy to work through this with you ..
Response By: Kari Schulz Date: 10 SEP 2013