View User Request

My Account

Marriage infedility
My husband of 13 years in which I have just found out has been paying g for sex from 15 different escorts possibly more and some of these escorts he would see for about 6 months at a time an possibly fathered two of these young girls babys these girls are between the ages of 19 to 30 he is 50 yrs old he would pay to have sex with them buy them drugs booze and food and a coiple of them he even supplied housing for them and payed their rent and two of these escorts he developed feelings for them and it's been going on for years and I just found out about all of this just recently my husband wont talk about it with me or Denys it some of it when I have solid proof on all of his cheating hr says he loves me and I want to still be married but iam afraid he will continue cheating even when he says je will never do it again I can't believe him and feel o can't trust him iam scared he will do it again and don't want to go through that pain an heartache o went through already Iam confused and scared and dont know how to deal with it 
Posted By : Lacey Date: 7 NOV 2016

If you are a therapist , Please login here to respond.

Hi Lacey,  this is very unpleasant experience you are going through at present. I can understand your feeling  of confusion in relationship, losing the trust and disturbed about the future.  I feel at present you  require an expert  support to deal with your family issues, please look through our expert team and find one you feel good . You can mail me  or chat with me in this regard, its good if you  sort it in positive manner to emotionally feel better. Through my experience in family counselling I can help you to manage your feeling and understand of situation by  moving forward in optimistic way with your husband.  take care and be positive. 

Response By: Rajatha Sarkar Date: 7 NOV 2016

Hey Lacey, I am so sorry to hear about what you have been going through.  I'm sure this has not only affected your marriage but how you feel about life in general and about yourself.  I believe that I could provide you with a unique perspective on this issue.  I have a lot of experience in this area in addition to the fact that I can help you understand how a man approaches these kind of issues and what you may need to see from him in order to assess whether he is really willing to make the kinds of changes that will help you feel like investing in your relationship again. I'm ready to get started when you are.
Response By: Emery Sears Jr. Date: 7 NOV 2016

Wow Lacey, to think about how you must have felt about these discoveries.  What devastating news!  What one thing could you do today to put yourself in a better place - whether it be where you are staying, your social/family support, or your personal time?  If you can allow yourself space in sorting through and figuring out how you feel and what you think about the situation, this will help you in terms of how you would like to move forward with your husband.  I would be happy to help you work through some of these issues.  
Response By: Sandra Eiler, LPC Date: 7 NOV 2016

Hi Lacey,
I hear you regarding your feelings about the infidelity of your husband and my experience is
that you're hurt as you discover what is going on with him. You need professional support to
figure out how to sort out all that has transpired right now. I want to offer you a suggestion 
for your own record.  Whatever you do, do not go back on your word regarding how much
help you need for your marriage. I am sure that hearing his loving words might feel good
to you and you need to receive this- but until you actually talk this out with a therapist or
someone who is able to really hear you, it will never be the same in terms of trust.  I have
years of experience with families, prostitutes and those whom either are using drugs or
abusing those who need drugs, and it is not a pretty scene. Chances are if they have
done any of these things, it does not stop overnight.  In all fairness to you, it is a real
live problem and normally the person would not want to talk about it  (not out of a
fear) but because it is serving their purpose to act in this manne. ) It coulc be sexual
which may be an entire different chapter that he needs to deal with. The only way
to resolve this is to make it real clear to him that you need his support on working
through marital issues and agree on discussing matters with the therapist of your
choice. Do not allow him to get away with not opening up, especially when you
are saying that you have the proof on his cheating.  You have to be serious too,
so he will be able to really "feel" you (not just hear you). If you want to continue
working through this, feel free to look through our therapist and chose the one
who best works for you.  I am also available if you want to talk.  Looking forward
to hearing from you and helping you develop the positive coping skills you need
to move pass this.

Response By: Natasha Smith, MA, LCPC Date: 7 NOV 2016

HI Lacey,

You must be feeling very overwhelmed after finding out about all this! I think it is wise of you to seek out a professional to work this through with. I have lots of experience working with couples where there has been infidelity and have written about it extensively. Would be happy to share my experience and guidance with you. Let me know.

Response By: Raffi Bilek Date: 7 NOV 2016

Hi Lacey,

I have worked with couples on the necessary steps to succeed in their marriage (individually and together), working through difficult times ... Respect, communication, trust, etc.  
This situation you are presented with is a extremely difficult one that probably leaves you with various questions, I can help you work through the issues that you are currently going through.
Together we can work on developing the skills to move forward with your life.

Look forward to helping you,
Jennifer Cox
Response By: Jennifer Cox Date: 7 NOV 2016

Lacey this is a terrible experience and I can imagine how difficult it is for you to deal with the situation. I know from experience with other clients how painful and life-shattering infidelity can be. Let me know if you wish to work with me on this. I am available for email therapy anytime or for a chat in the morning. 
Response By: Prof. Aleksandar Fatic Date: 7 NOV 2016