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I'm 49 well educated and financially secure. However I was never successful in relationships and feel sad that I now have no family of my own. I have pets whom I treat like kids. I would like to venture into a new business, but keep prevaricating. Days weeks months years go by and I do nothing. All I think of is old age and being alone. I do have siblings and nieces and nephews but I feel that they have their own lives. The only real success I have ever had is my teaching career. I feel as though I am wasting away my life.
Posted By : Rosita Date: 31 JUL 2016

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Hi Rosita,

It sounds like you are ready for a change, but possibly fear and depression is keeping you "stuck".  I am happy you are reaching out for help, as that is the first step.  There are many qualified therapists that would be willing to listen and help when you are ready including myself.  Thank you for connecting with us.

Stephanie Kubit, LMFT

Response By: Stephanie Kubit Date: 7 AUG 2016

Hi Rosita

I am just taking a guess here, but I would venture a thought that the problem lies with attachment style. We learn our attachment style at our parent's feet. We also take  what is learned in childhood into adulthood and we can inadvertently push people away. Attachment styles can be changed with effort and insight. If you think I can help,  please look up my profile.

all the best,
Janette Strokappe
Response By: Janette Strokappe Date: 2 AUG 2016

Success can be defined in many different ways, it is not always about having a family or a companion. I would encourage you to address your difficulties in relationships, but also build upon your strengths. You have met so many goals on your own and the majority of people would envy that. It seems as though you need to build upon your own self esteem.

We are always here for you, please reach out to talk.



Response By: Jamie Sclafani Date: 31 JUL 2016

When you find the therapist that feels right for you here's my suggestion for proceeding: Compare teaching with relationship.... contrast having a job with having a relationship...are you wanting to look for another job to avoid having a relationship? Is the idea of relationship daunting?  We're of a similar age but you seem to have things you want to get accomplished and find a good therapist and get started!
Good luck!
Response By: Eric Holmes Date: 31 JUL 2016

Hi Rosita,
You have definitely taken the first step in addressing your difficulties in relationships and feeling alone-
I just want you to know that here at proven therapy, we are there to help you successfully move through
the process of identifying what is exactly going on in you personally.  I have seen friends who have
encountered the same regarding the issue of identifying with their pets whom they treat like family.
They truly want someone whom they can rely on, however, struggle personally with attaching to
relationships. I had noticed how you had only mentioned "financial" security.  This had concerned
me, as you did not mention the other areas of your life in which you needs security- as they are
emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, socially, physically, mentally, attitudinally and so on. 
From clinical experience, there may be more going in you that is resulting in you feeling that your
life is a total waste.  If you ever need someone to unfold your life issues, I am there for you to
help you tap into your own inner assets that determine how you branch out and make greater
things happen for you.  There are resources out there to assist you with making stronger and
healthier decisions about the direction of your life.  Sometimes we chose to do "nothing" or
stay where we are at in life- because this is where it is most comfortable. And in order for
us to get better, we have to move out of our comfort zone to grow.  Thanks for sharing!
Response By: Natasha Smith, MA, LCPC Date: 31 JUL 2016

So are you actually wasting your life away? My point is, you may actually be doing it, and if so, you need to mobilise your personal resources right away to take action.
Response By: Prof. Aleksandar Fatic Date: 31 JUL 2016

Hi Rosita,
It is sad to feel alone and have regret about. There are ways, however, to see your life from a different perspective and then to explore what has happened in the past to build à future that you do want. I would be happy to walk with you through this new journey in your life. 

Response By: Linda Harris Date: 31 JUL 2016

Hello Rosita, I am so sorry you feel this way. Thank you for reaching out to us. There are many wonderful therapists here. Please look through and find one that you feel is a good fit for you. I will be back on line in about an hour if you would like to chat with me. Send me an email if there is a better time for you. Take care.  Tracie
Response By: Tracie Timme Date: 31 JUL 2016

Hi Rosita,

Sounds like you feel pretty stuck. I'd be happy to connect with you and help you move forward from where you are.  Please be in touch if you think I can be of help.

Response By: Raffi Bilek Date: 31 JUL 2016

Dear Rosita,

Peace and Love from proven therapy counselor. I am at your service for some constructive coping ways for immediate and long future. Please  talk to me on an appointment or write taking the  email service. Thank you for airing your feelings and counseling needs here in proventherapy. I am online now for your call or mail.


Response By: Jamal Hassan Date: 31 JUL 2016