Pat Sumlin, LMFT

Languages : English

Per session : $60

Per minute : $1

Email Charge : $45

Offline

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My name is Pat Sumlin, LMFT age 63, and aging gracefully. I am a licensed clinical trauma informed psychotherapist, and treat a wide array of mental health, personality disorder, addiction and visible/invisible disability issues. I specialize in treating the following: PTSD/C-PTSD, BPD, Recovery from Narcissistic relationships, Family, Relationship/Marital/Partner conflicts/domestic violence, both straight and LGBTQ. Terminal/chronic and trauma related illness and pain. Suicidal ideation, Dysthymia, Double Depression and Anxiety). Workplace bullying and harassment issues. Learning Disabilities, ADD/ADHD, and Adult Asperger’s spectrum. In addition, I am trained in DBT an evidence based treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder.

I offer email individual therapy, (insight, influence, and hope) combined with education (social, communication, relationship, anger management, practical coping skills, and mindfulness) that way you can build an emotional tool box of your own. Combine, all the knowledge you gain, so you can APRI – address issues, process your feelings, resolve the issues, and integrate new coping skills in order to live mindfully.

Occasionally you'll notice I reverse / omit words and letters, which is dyslexia, not an excuse rather an explanation of the learning disability. My treatment style and writing voice is straightforward and non-judgmental, an approach that lets you know, your problems are taken seriously. In the event you’re uneasy or put off by a direct style, naturally you can switch therapists, to each their own. It's like shopping for shoes, finding a comfortable fit.

Here are some of the nuts and bolts: Email therapy offers the ease and flexibility of no schedule. Write when you want, on your terms, there is no pressure from me.  Everything I write you is very individualized, specifically geared towards and in response to what you write about, no cookie cutter answers. Usually, I reply the next day and sometimes within 2-3 days, depending on what is going on. Remind yourself in the event you become frustrated and impatient, the problems didn’t occur overnight, they won’t get fixed in a couple of emails.

This approach can be an affordable alternative when you have any of the following: time constraints, busy schedule, live in a rural area, have limited income, stay at home parent, have health issues that affect mobility and energy level, have a terminal/chronic illness and pain, few options exist in your community for therapy, enjoy writing and reading, hearing impairment, need for additional privacy and want the accessibility e-mail therapy offers. Insurance is not accepted, medication is not prescribed nor discussed in detail, no written documents are provided, and the cost/billing is explained on the web site and through contacting customer service. No doubt, you have realized, email therapy is convenient, economical and cost / time effective. Talk about a great value! 

When you’re pre-occupied with; FOG – fear, obligation, guilt, if only/what if, and should, being focused on the past, acting in reckless ways, inflicting guilt and shame on yourself, using negative self-defeating language, holding grudges, collecting injustices, maintaining distressing thoughts, and disowning your feelings, it affects both your physical, cognitive and emotional well-being which increases the hormone cortisol. Reinforcing helplessness and hopelessness adds to the quiet desperation, isolation, emptiness, sense of being an outsider, and makes matters worse.

If you're the type of person, that is highly sensitive, experiences rejection sensitivity, has a low threshold for frustration, gets irritable easily, has sensory processing issues, (sensitive to glare, noise, smells, fabric) tends to take things personal, isolates, lashes out with anger, shuts down, can't turn your mind off (analysis paralysis) or have trouble with focus,  concentration, getting distracted, have under-controlled impulsivity, or muted or over-controlled, perfectionist, rigid, demonstrative standards, procrastinate and experience 4 F's (fight, flight, freeze, and fawn) then it's likely you get emotionally flooded from (anger) hot mind and get overwhelmed easy.

Positive news! There are ways that you can learn to disarm and eliminate the critical self-talk noise, recognize how you undermine and erode your own power and perpetuate the forgotten self. Find your way back to yourself, that way you can tell your personal truth, transcend the wounds of the past and cope with your problems decreasing instability, and increasing your psychological self-compassion and self-efficacy. Regain emotional competence, walk the middle path, speak from a place of neutrality, develop deeper relatedness to others and move forward with your life. Think of your problems like mental mud and therapy is like the emerging of a lotus flower.

Now it's your turn to tell me more about yourself, the concerns that bring you to the point in your life where you're seeking online therapy. It is very important to me, that you are believed, feel understood and experience both empathy and validation. Naturally it can be hard to get started writing, trying to figure out what to write about, so you can begin by discussing any issue that you're comfortable sharing. It’s ok to be frank, direct and open with me and also to respect your own privacy and pace yourself, only sharing gradually as the trust builds. There are no “should” rules to follow. If you tend to go all over the place, get scattered, switch from one thing to another, that's okay, I can follow just fine.

Naturally I ask some questions, although I am not big on the Q&A approach to avoid the sense of being interrogated or mining for information. I think of therapy more like a narrative, a story unfolding, with the cast of characters from your life, and the meaning and significance you attach to certain people and experiences. Therapy is a personalized approach that increases your self-awareness, gives you time to know yourself better on a deeper level, addresses your specific needs so you can improve your ability to  develop psychological flexibility, adaptability and increase your clarity, in order to balance both EI/EM - emotional intelligence, emotional maturity and resilience. Now is the time to find out what steps you can realistically take toward living a life that is more aligned with knowing your own value so you can experience and enjoy your own presence and find your purpose. Life is full of trade-offs, learn how to occupy the present and make your life consist of many defining moments. Allow yourself to be where you are…Your value does not decrease/diminish based on someone’s inability to see your worth. 

Combine acceptance of reality, revisit and work through the inevitable setbacks and progress of change, resolve and heal the codependency and inner turmoil. Empower yourself to establish standards, stronger boundaries, protect your own self-interest and transform the way you live your life so you can move in a realistic yet forward way. An approach that will take the edge off the mundane, and be satisfying and meaningful so that you operate from a place of doing your very best, allowing you to take ownership of your life. Just think, you can tap into your insight, intelligence, and intuition so you can alleviate the hurt, experience freedom and feel joy which enables you to live an ordinary life. Your mistakes are meant to teach, inform and guide you, not define you. It’s about focusing on the path in front of you, learning how to be content with yourself, so you can experience healing, think neutral, have hope, enjoy life, feel  happiness and both know and like yourself. After all, the relationship with self, it’s the only relationship you can count on having throughout your entire life span.

Although you are a product in part due to your past, no longer do you need to be a prisoner of the past. Entertain the idea of reserving space for hope. If the anguish emptiness and despair is in your way, then lean on my hope for as long as you need to.  It is the time to stop suffering in silence. In the event my welcome letter comes across to you as a sales pitch that I am trying to sell you, YES, I am! I want to influence you to consider the idea that you are valuable and worth investing the time, money, commitment and energy to build a life worth living. Reclaim your own story vs. letting your story own you.

Respectfully,

Pat

MA in Social/Clinical Psychology

Providing 20 years of competent and professional clinical experience.

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